So it's 5:15 AM and I'm awake. Actually I have been since 4:45 AM, but Emily is still sleeping...kind of seems like a mean trick my body is playing on itself, and one that I will certainly pay for later, but I have a lot on my mind these days. I am working on a Baby Expo for the end of this month, my high school reunion for the fall, starting a new workout routine with Andy (that I am scared of) and even a few potential business ideas that are brewing around in my mind, stay tuned!
With that being said, it's also rare that I have 5 minutes to sit down, while it's still quiet and actually even dark outside to think and reflect. My day is a constant stream of happenings including; diapers, feedings, cleaning, nursing, food, diapers, friends, cooking, cleaning, oh and did I mention diapers and cleaning?!?! Throw in there a few hours of work each day, maybe a shower here and there ;), that doesn't leave much time for "thinking".
If we're being honest here, I know there are days, while they are getting fewer and farther between, that I wish I could just wake up, getting dressed and head off to work. Now that I think back, in those days my life seemed simpler and now I have to laugh about what I thought was so important, really wasn't. Of course it paid the bills so I had to think it was important and thankfully I enjoyed what I was doing, so it really wasn't too bad. Of course back then I also took for granted the random moments I would have to myself or the ease of just running in to a store for an errand and Andy and I going out to dinner at the last minute, and not eating an early bird special.
You may think I long to have those days back and while there are times when I wish I had that ease back, I wouldn't for anything in the world, change what I have now. Don't get me wrong, I would love a few more minutes to myself here and there, and maybe this getting up early thing is actually a better idea than I was realizing, but there is no way I could possibly explain the love I have for my family. I always knew my parents loved me but there is honestly no way to really understand until you are one. I LOVE being home and that I have the ability to watch Emily grow up right before my eyes and some days I feel like that is literally happening.
It's sometimes just the small things that are the most amazing, her learning about the sounds of shaking a paper bag or yesterday, the sensation of playing in Charlie's water dish (oy!), but the look in her eyes and the smiles on her face make everything (even cleaning up the water from the floor) so worth it and so amazing. It really makes you stop and appreciate the small things, that on a daily basis we tend to take for granted.
When was the last time you played with a paper bag or truly appreciated the sensation of splashing around in water? Ahhh to be a child again :). Some of you may or may not know but I have taken pole dance classes in the past (no don't get any ideas) and something I took away from this class was the ability to be quiet and truly listen, smell, and experience your surroundings. At the end of the first series of classes the instructor gave us a choice between two different types of lotions that we had to rub into our hands. We had to sit there and smell the lotion, feel the texture, experience what it felt like for the lotion to disappear into our hands, feel our hands, knuckles, etc. I obviously use my hands everyday but I don't think I knew what they felt like or even appreciated them. I enjoyed this exercise at the time, but now have a much greater appreciation and understanding that this is how Emily experiences everyday. So I am going to take the lead from my daughter and as the saying goes "Take Time to Stop and Smell the Roses"...